EH

Sometimes I forget I chose this job.  I forget how much I wanted to be a mom.  I forget the agreement I made with my husband and how we worked so hard as a team to raise our three kids.  Then the scripture that begins, Remember, Remember, comes to mind.  I remember I am a daughter of God; daughter of  a King.  I remember my choice to give my life to raising my beautiful, precious children.  I remember the feelings of love and joy and good times.  I remember our awesome trips to the beach and Disneyland and Sedona.  I remember our nights walking together on the golf course and the cool grass as we ran bare-foot.  I remember my Father in Heaven loves me still.  He cares about me.  He wants to be my friend.  The remembrance of who I was and who I am encourages me now.  It strengthens me to give a little more and try a little harder.  It truly is a fight for my life some days.  I remember the days when medicine worked and then I remember the days when I still had awful thoughts and medicine just wasn't enough.  Understanding the walk with darkness and despair is part of my life.  I don't have many answers but I am living more aware and more purposefully.  I am reading my scriptures and praying and exercising as much as I can make myself.  I have a desire to eat better with less sugar and see if that really helps.  I am trying so hard to fill my life with light.  I need to take care of me so I can love others.  I have so far to go but these are my thoughts for today.  Finding something to smile about makes so much of a difference and thinking of things to be grateful for may be the most important medicine of all.